A click of the heels and three turns ...

Many people assumed, when they heard I was moving to Bath, that it involved having a job to go to or it was because of a man.  Neither of these applied, it was a case of a powerful urge to move, knowing that my time in Tring was over and it was simply time to move on.  Where to go was tricky for a little while - gut feel only told me it would be somewhere in the west country, so I kept mentally scouring Devon until one night I had a dream....
In the dream, I opened my front door and saw the city of Bath spread before me - woohoo!  That was all the prompt I needed to begin making concrete plans - at last, a focus!

So, 3 months of fervent activity ensued, getting rid of as much 'stuff' as possible from the house my boys and I had shared over the previous 6 years.  It was tough, but also somehow exhilarating as multiple trips to the charity shops and the tip opened up patches of wall and floor that hadn't seen light of day for sometime.  Not long before my move, the boys moved out to their respective places and suddenly whole rooms were empty.  Had I really managed to get rid of enough stuff to downsize to a 2 bed flat?

Moving days (one day to pack up in Tring and one to unload in Bath) arrived and loading up went like clockwork, even though my packing wasn't finished until that very morning (partly due to a late assignation with a hot date the night before!).  Only one glitch marred what was a smooth day and that was that I'd forgotten to defrost the freezer - doh!  But hey, what's a couple of hours delay in a lifetime of change?  No big deal.  I drove down to stay in Chippenham overnight before going to collect the keys to my new flat the next morning.

The day of my move into Bath arrived with more than a tinge of anticipation.  The agent involved in the deal had swanned off to spend summer at his pad in France leaving his cold young cohort to hold the fort.  'Cold young cohorts', especially the estate agent variety, are renowned for using the bare minimum of their limited time upon the people who actually pay them, so communication was brief as I duly waited for him to trawl the archives of his computer to find the relevant paperwork.  Eventually I was free to leave with the keys in my already tired hand, eager to set foot in the property I'd checked out a month earlier.

First thing I noticed was how much smaller the rooms were than I'd remembered - it was evident that memory does indeed play tricks when desire has a vested interest.  The second thing I'd conveniently forgotten was that the flat was actually up 4 flights of stairs, not 2 as I'd thought (and told the removal company) - oops!.  A quick check in the kitchen cupboards revealed that the landlady's pots and pans, still with the evidence of the previous occupants food attached to them, were still filling the very limited cupboard space.  A phone call to agent and landlady set what I'd hoped would be wheels in motion but nothing happened.  Instead, boxes very quickly filled up all the available working space in the narrow kitchen so it became a game of shuffle the boxes as we tried to empty some so we could in turn fill the empty boxes with the contents of the cupboards.  The dirty cupboards then needed a clean - not a great start and added further to already elevated stress levels.  Added to this, it became evident after a couple of hours unloading that I wouldn't be able to fit all of my furniture in the flat so I had to take the decision to let several pieces go without even knowing how or where.  A solution was found and my dining table & chairs, rocking chair and a wardrobe all duly disappeared, never to be heard of again.  I decided some things you just have to let go of in the face of the bigger picture.

As if all the stress and effort of the move wasn't enough, my stress levels were ready to go through the roof, and I just wanted everyone to go, I couldn't understand why the gang of removal men just seemed to hang around, making polite conversation and offering endless help.  It took a while for it to dawn on me that they were actually waiting for a tip, despite what I'd already paid.  I went downstairs and had a word with the foreman, offering him a note to buy the men a drink. My offer was declined, but one of the team watching from the window thought he had seen a tip given and I was later contacted by a colleague trying to settle an argument, as the issue had been a source of bickering amongst the men since my move.  Why is nothing straight forward anymore?

Well, all of that was 6 weeks ago now and I'm happily settled here in Larkhall, Bath.  I have to say - this village is rather lovely - all conveniences on hand, including a post office (a rarity these days) and a rather wonderful little french cafe that opened about the time I moved here (stroke of luck or what?).  The sun has done a lot of shining and I've come to enjoy the walk into town and back, barely noticing the hills, uneven pavements and my 4 flights of stairs.  Sometimes I go for a rekky on my bike to suss out the lie of the land - the car mainly gets used to take me dancing these days so petrol usage is halved.

The major difference since moving here has been having a man in my life again.  Although its only weekends, it's been quite an adjustment for an independent woman like me to make and I've had more than a few of my previous ideas turned upside down - good job I can laugh at myself.

Despite some good referrals which are ongoing, work is slow at returning but I'm confident that October will bring a new batch of clients.  In the meantime, I'll keep an eye out for other creative opportunities, or perhaps make some of my own.  We shall see what transpires in the fullness of time, but one thing is for sure, there's plenty going on here so it won't be long before I glimpse a new avenue to explore.

Life Reflected in Dance

Dancing is a way of engaging in the very essence of life and expressing how you feel through that medium.  So those who have an urge to express how they feel through dance will usually find a dance form that best expresses the kind of person they are and fits with the kind of music they prefer – not to mention how much of life they wish to bite off and chew over on a regular basis!    

Indeed, in partner dancing, it is possible to perceive much in those first few moments about the other person, should we care to notice.  This brings me to another observation about different dance styles – they each involve different levels of connection, and therefore beautifully display how willing each participant is to engage in the depths of life, for it’s never just about the other person, but also what they reflect back to us.

Some people will be happy to stay within the same dance genre for many years, perhaps finding it a suitable vehicle for a decent social life and to maintain a modicum of fitness.  Yet others will move every few years through different dance styles as if searching, although they may not know what they seek.  These types may eventually form their own fusion dance, although this carries the danger that few can synchronize with them and their dance is in danger of becoming one of frustration.

So, folks go into dance with some notion about what they want from it, the path of progress turning this way and that over the years as they mature personally.  Plateaus of comfort punctuate the dance lifetime, usually accompanied by a decision of whether to stay put or move forward into a further growth phase.  The need for growth may be driven by the surfacing of uncomfortable emotions from deep within – some aspect of the self has been subject to a growth spurt and we have to work out how to deal with the fallout.  The dance floor then becomes a safe haven in which to feel and subconsciously process the emotions we perceive.  On the dance floor, the feelings we have are an inadvertent blend of our own and the ones we sense and reflect from others, but because they don’t need to be vocalized in that space, it feels easier to process them, carried along by the emotional wave of the music.

* * *

Some observations of the types of people who exist in some dance genres:

Arm-led dances such as Modern Jive, Ceroc, Lindy Hop, Rock & Roll tend to be favoured by people who appear to be happy-go-lucky, like to believe their life is pretty much on track and don’t really want to go digging down inside to see what else is there – they might find something they don’t like.  They are wary of intense relationships, tending to prefer the arms length variety.

Salsa tends to be danced by people who are happy to engage with others in a deeper, more earthy way.  They believe in the power of their own bodies and prefer not to over-think things, favouring more physical relationships.  Not for analytical types.

Tango – the Argentine variety – tends to be favoured by people who have an active mind.  They are naturally curious and like to develop, in body, mind and spirit.  These people know there’s more to life than what you see on the surface and are willing to do some exploring.  However, tango has its share of mechanical dancers - people who are attracted by its aesthetics but lack an emotional connection, perhaps because of their design (see below); they can still do well in tango if they work hard and may even get to the same emotional place as others but by another route.  Their relationships involve growth and change because these people don’t like to stagnate.

* * *

In the system known as Human Design, where we are acknowledged as being 9-centred beings (the centres being representative of the chakra system), it is recognized that the ones who have a ‘defined’ solar plexus centre are naturally emotional beings, making them sensitive types who are used to interpreting life by how it feels to them.  Because they are accustomed to riding the emotional roller coaster, they embrace each obstacle (or change) and maintain a steady course ahead.

Now, some people don’t have a defined solar plexus and, although they may seem to be emotionally cold on the surface, they can actually feel deeply as they amplify the current emotional wave.  They have quite a different outlook upon life, and upon the dance.  These types of people can take much longer than emotional types to learn a dance because they don’t feel the music, their movement or their partner in the same way.  Their dance is, and always will tend to be more mechanical, because they lack that ability to feel it.  They sense the defined solar plexus in those who possess it and are subconsciously envious, because what skills they have developed have been hard come by rather than natural and easy.

However, although these two groups can seem quite disparate, it is possible for them to come together, simply by accepting each other’s differences.  As humans, we will always be different from each other – that’s what creates interest.  In human design, we will always seek to fill the spaces within our own design – usually by surrounding ourselves with people who possess what we  don’t have.

If you’re interested in knowing more about Human Design, go to www.jovianarchive.com or play some of the many free recordings on YouTube – there is a rich seam of information just waiting to be tapped into if you’re serious about learning how to play the game of life instead of being happy to struggle against a head wind.

11^th June 2012

Dire straights to home straights – There’s light at the end of the tunnel

Having already spent many years helping people towards their own healing and playing my part by being a catalyst for their change, it has been frustrating during recent years to notice that my own change was not readily forthcoming.  I’ve become accustomed to the fact that those who turn up to welcome in change would inevitably attract messages that would also apply to myself.  And, over time, I just got to thinking that I had to wait patiently, with blind faith as my only companion, for whatever was deemed to be my lot in life.  What I hadn’t realised was that during this extended period of waiting, my ego had dug a deep rut for me to reside in.  Oh, it has undoubtedly been a comfortable rut, so much so that I didn’t realise it was a rut … until today.

Following the very powerful new moon last weekend, I sensed something had to give – maybe all this professional hanging around had to go – it was either time to grab change with both hands or drown in a mire of stagnation.  Well, I couldn’t bear the thought of staying still any longer, so I opted for change and began to make notes about what has to go from my life. If I’m going to make any changes, I need to see clearly where I’m going or how I want my life to be, so I’ve had to lose a few trees in order to see the wood.

It’s early days at present, and progress is slow.  A pre-clearing meditation showed my real self as being represented by a gazelle.  This is what I found out about the gazelle as a power animal:

“The gazelle has the ability to zig-zag swiftly from side to side, often outwitting the cheetah and putting themselves out of the cheetah's straight line run of attack.

  Similarly, those who try and escape depression, fear, negative emotions and habits of the past often find themselves stopped in their tracks, with the negative emotions they try to avoid at their throats. “

And the suggested learning is:

“The gazelle means being at ease with our own vulnerability and using the acute awareness and sensitivity we have.  Acknowledge the ability to discover new paths yet change direction when required, freeing ourselves from the negativity of the past.  Put all your energy into a positive way of living and thinking. Life is an adventure.  Grasp it with both hands and a heart filled with anticipation and eagerness.”  (By Ina Wolcott)

How apt!  Ok, message received and understood.  A subsequent meditation showed me a tortoise crawling out of a hole – perhaps after hibernation – the message from that one simple enough to understand.

So now, I’m making a point of taking one small step each day towards making what might seem like small and inconsequential changes to my life.  Because these changes are deeply personal to me and involve digging to the very heart of myself, there are times when I feel very uncomfortable and even scared, but I’m not giving up.  I know that mental discipline is required and a tenacity, which I thought I had, but only now do I realise what it actually means to use it.  This has to be the hardest part of all I’ve gone through because it's totally self-generated and no one can do any of it for me.

So, I’m setting off on the journey into the second half of this lifetime and breathing deeply in anticipation of all that is to come.  Wish me luck and I’ll post an update when there’s more to tell.  I’m sharing my experience because I know that in these uncertain times, only one thing is certain, and that is change, so I can't be the only one upon this journey.

Blessings to one and all.

... and breathe

Winter is often a time of introspection, consolidation and a desire to hibernate - all good for a time, but not things you want to uphold for too long - it gets boring!  So, with the absence of a defined lurch into spring this year, and the drawn out wet weather, many people are feeling pressured and worn by the lack of upliftment that we expect at this time of year.  

With spring, we expect feelings of awakening, upliftment, forward movement.  This year, a hiatus seemed apparent - things were somehow different. We found ourselves having to stop and think more about what we want, what we're doing and why - in other words, questioning what we've taken for granted.  Indeed, these are times of change, so having a questioning mind would certainly be the order of the day if we are to consider the road ahead.  

A renewed outlook highlights how we easily become complacent within a society that is built upon expectations of what we feel we should have access to and what should be provided for us.  We see the uselessness of things we once held dear and how the need for some things we thought we needed is now no longer apparent.  It becomes evident that being more responsible for ourselves and what we attract into our lives is essential if we want to build a more suitable foundation for our own future.   

When you choose to wake up from the dumbed-down slumbers of the have-it-all society and have a more mindful approach to living, its easier to accept the power that being responsible for yourself brings.  Making up your own mind about anything and everything that comes your way makes the weapons of guilt and blame useless against you because your own truth makes you stronger than you ever imagined.  The trick is to drop the notion some would have you believe that life is about struggle - it's not.  There are only two things you need to remember about life ... Acceptance and Humility.  

Why not start each day by taking a long, slow breathe and letting the river of life take you where it will, knowing that all will unfold perfectly for your highest good.

From my truth to yours ...

Whose body?

"The essence of the principle of the Uncarved Block is that things in their original simplicity contain their own natural power,  power that is easily spoiled and lost when that simplicity is changed."  from the Tao of Pooh.

Over the last couple of decades, there has been steady growth in the field of complimentary and alternative medicine and it has certainly become more widely accepted than it was 20 years ago, but what exactly does that mean to the individual?

Well, take a look at the websites of a few alternative practitioners – what do they say to you between the lines of assurances?  Are they intimating you should hang off their every word and trust their familiar patter since it’s now become ‘mainstream’ or do they say ‘hang on a minute, you can read this blurb, but do you really need it?  Couldn’t you work out the answer to your health questions simply by listening to what your body’s been trying to tell you for ages?’  These therapies may not be pumped full of synthetic drugs but are they really any different in their approach to that of the allopathic doctor?

Well, the process of standardising and homogenising the alternative health movement is now almost complete and a good few therapy genres can even produce evidence based studies to prove their viability – that’s good surely...?  Well yes, I guess that means these therapies can be relied upon, within the boundaries of their respective red tape, to carry some responsibility for our health, therefore we don’t have to try too hard to keep in shape (you know, like relying on your doctor!).  And yes, like visiting your GP, there are generally some benefits to be gained from anyone worth their salt, but the question remains – how much of this could you do yourself with a little effort? 

The trouble is that everything is made to appear so complicated that we are all led to believe we couldn’t possibly know what is good for us and how to take care of ourselves.  A few thousand years ago, it was a case of survival of the fittest.  If you didn’t use the instinct you were born with, you just didn’t survive.  Of course, there have always been people who have had the ability to help and heal others in a naturally gifted way, but equally, there have been just as many ready to usurp that human need in return for a tidy sum.

These days, as soon as we enter this life, we’re told what is good for us – not much room for individuality and certainly not for instinct.  It seems from the outset, we are being conditioned to get used to operating within rules, whatever we are doing, but who benefits?  It is highly likely that operating by the rules of others, where our own wellbeing is concerned, will gradually erode  our ability to decide what is right for us because we have  a) forgotten what our own instinct feels like and  b) how to trust it. 

In actual fact, nature has installed various mechanisms within us all to enable us to make good choices for ourselves, but these usually go unheeded as the stimuli of western civilisation makes all but the well disciplined fail to notice their intent.  So, how do we go about deciding if we want or need to seek out the help of a therapist?  The following check list may be of assistance ...

• Why do you think you need to see someone?
• Have you done everything possible to tackle the problem yourself?
• Are you looking for a quick fix or a long term solution/program?
• How much are you just looking for emotional support?

You would be forgiven for thinking at this point that I am trying to dissuade you from seeing a therapist at all – not so, there are times when we could all use a catalyst or a conduit.  What I am suggesting is to be mindful of why and to stop being so willing to hand over responsibility to someone else.  After all, it’s not uncommon for some to pay a visit to the docs for a diagnosis, even a prescription, with no intention of taking the recommended medication, because they had already decided upon their own course of action.  For some, it would be nice to do similar with complimentary medicine but because the protocol is not so clear cut, we feel we are not armed with enough information to make a good decision about treatment.  This is when instinct comes in handy.

Another set of hurdles can present when we have long-standing chronic ‘niggles’ and we’ve made a decision to find the cause.  Each therapist has his/her own preferred angle, indeed some really are prepared to play detective to work out the pieces of your particular puzzle, but who’s to say they’re not just treating more symptoms ...?  The only person who will know the answer to that question is you – usually some way down the line when you realise you’re still not as full of energy/health as you should be, just a few £’s lighter.  Where was instinct when you needed it?

Unless you have diligently logged your own life history and included all relevent health information, it can be quite difficult for anyone to get to the bottom of your malfunction.  These days, more and more elaborate layers of protocol are being brought in to provide an off-the-shelf toolkit for the serious therapist, so in theory, they can’t fail but it can take quite a commitment from the you, the client, to pursue a protracted course of treatment - and to have deep pockets.  So, lets go back to the beginning ... how much can you do for yourself? 

You could ...

•     Remove all forms of stress from your life
•     Remove all blocking factors to good health (mental, physical & emotional)
•     Find what makes you truly happy!  

You see, I believe that if we all learned as much as possible about the way we tick, and, more to the point, took action upon that knowledge, we’d be doing far more for our personal health and happiness.  The fact is that if we don’t adopt a maintenance routine of our own, based upon our own instinctive truths, time will ensure we embrace poor health, poor quality of life and early effects of old age, not to mention being a burden upon society (how willing are you to rely upon the ‘yoof’ of today to care for you?). 

 

If care of the self was something parents and teachers passed on to children from the outset, it would not be so difficult to pursuade people that in actual fact, this is what we are meant to do.   If we do not care for the vessel which holds our spirit, we are not being respectful to ourselves and can not flourish on all levels.  

 

The reason we are here is to simply be happy – life is not meant to be a struggle.  Honing and trusting our natural instinct means we stand a far better chance of achieving a long and happy life, guided by our own personal truth. 

One step too far ...

The efforts of the powers that be to regulate complementary health services, combined with the control applied by the governing bodies within each profession go a long way to ensure that treatment given within these limiting guidelines will not be wholly effective.  

For instance, if you go to see an osteopath who is governed by a strict code of conduct which dictates that in patient assessment, the practitioner does not consider the patients' emotions as bearing relation to the root of the problem, and treatment is based upon symptoms presenting alone, instead of guiding the patient to look further back for the emotional tensions which could well have pre-empted the presenting symptoms, then what's to say the treatment will work or hold?  (i.e. if the root cause if not addressed directly, the situation could well recur).  There may well be, and frequently is, an improvement, but in the longer term is the patient really encouraged to take responsibility for him/herself and to dig deeper within for the answer?  I'm afraid not - in fact anything deemed to be outside treatment protocol is usually referred to the GP, thus sowing a seed in the mind of the patient of something more serious ... or 'nasty', and we all know the power of negative thoughts in even the most unsuspecting individual. 


So, professions such as osteopaths or chiropractors, in their efforts to be scientific and ethical, take a rather separatist stance with treatment protocol, yet the likes of Candace Pert (Molecules of Emotion) and Bruce Lipton (Biology of Belief) have written much about how our thoughts can and do have a direct impact upon our physical form.  For instance, much research into longevity has shown that people in relationships (of any sort) have been shown to live longer, which would suggest that emotions do have a direct effect upon health and longevity.  I do wonder how much repeat business would actually be necessary if the emotional aspect of a condition was tackled at the outset.  I would guess that the influence of the 'nanny' state means that even in a complementary health profession, patients are still actively discouraged to trust their own instinct about anything - after all, it could just be toooo risky!


So yes, I am rather frustrated by what I see around me and the task of building up Joe Public's innate intuition seems ever more daunting.  It would seem that the 'powers that be' will continue to send their tendrils of negativity into the heart of any profession they can to suppress what really ought to come naturally to each of us.

Reflecting upon relationships

A phrase which holds dear to me is "nothing is itself without everything else".  This is true I feel, to a large extent, of western civilisation - we all need other people in some way to reflect back to us who we are as we experiment with the experiences of life.

Many feel it is impossible to live without frequent reassurance of who and where they are, even if it means staying in a defective relationship, whilst others choose to get by with only sporadic interaction with others.  However, although each of us have differing abilities to contribute to any interaction, we may choose to only contribute fully and with confidence those aspects of ourselves in which we excel or favour, therefore controlling the outcome.
 

As we weave our way through life, we scratch the surface of those we want to know and go about the task of discovering what aspects that other person contains to ultimately see whether enough edges and grooves fit comfortably with our own, and there is the possibility of some new growth.  There may be physical or visual traits we like to have around us more permanently, yet ignore or make fit the other aspects which we subconsciously know will only disappoint.  So a relationship based upon degrees of compromise is formed - perhaps the reality never quite becoming the dream.   A relationship can occur anywhere along the comfort scale and exist for many a year, depending upon the tenacity of those involved, but can growth occur if we suppress certain aspects of ourselves, including honesty?


We might choose to live alone (not daring to open the heart), carefully selecting those we wish to interact with who mirror our qualities of choice whilst concealing an aspect we'd like to ignore - dipping in and out of society just enough to maintain some sort of continuum.  However, the way life happens decrees that whoever we have contact with can and will, at some point, hold up the mirror, casting an incisive spotlight into our heart, bringing into stark relief that we would choose to hide. 


In my opinion, for any sort of relationship to be built and survive, there needs to be an understanding that the union will provide mutual support to withstand the challenges and effort that life itself requires, with regular input.  Personally, I doubt the existence of Mount Nirvana where a free ride is guaranteed all the way down the far side to a blissful ending.  I think relationships of any kind will always be a work in progress, just as long as we remain willing to learn, lessons continually being repeated until, at best, understanding and harmony are achieved.  By practicing humility and acceptance, the stout-hearted can ride any emotional storm and emerge stronger and a good deal more philosophical, but a sense of humour is essential.